When I entered line dancing was
He sat at the bar watching the dancers with a mug of beer and a whiskey chaser. He either had forgotten about me or did not care if I came or not, an attitude appropriate for my renewed status. When I climbed the empty bar stool next to him he turned, smiled but said nothing as to say.
"I knew you’d come,
I ordered a gin and tonic and accepted the cheap bar brand proffered, again appropriate for my revised self-image. He told the bartender to make it a double as if to say.
"Get the bitch drunk."
With loud twanging music framing our relationship, I didn't protest. Instead I gulped it down while we looked at the line dancers. The place, except for the line dancing, reminded me of my one night stand with Erica. I accepted it would end similarly. As I finished my drink he looked at me, drained the last of his beer, chugged the chaser and said.
"Pay the tab, we're
I put twenty dollars on the bar and followed him out. The parking lot was fresh air without the cigarette smoke which hung in the bar and now in my hair. I walked to my car, him next to me. I saw his big wheel pickup truck a couple of rows away. At my car I asked.
"Where are we going?"
"My place, you drive."
Afraid to let him in the car I told him.
"No, I'll follow you."
He shrugged as if to say, "Okay bitch", walked to his truck and waited until I pulled up behind. He was making me nervous. I changed my mind and decide to follow a short distance; pretend I got lost and drive home. Instead he went three blocks, took a turn right, parked in front of a house, got out and went to my car door. I kept the doors locked, rolled down the window and said.
"I'm sorry, I've got to go back home."
"Lady you want me. Don't play hard to get. Get out of the car."
Maybe it was the earlier wine and the
double gin and tonic, maybe I was afraid of a scene but it was mostly my
deprecated self-image. I did as he said, got out and stood next to the car. He
smiled, picked me up and carried me into the house, a ramshackle place
reflecting his persona and carried me directly to his bedroom in his powerful
arms. I was helpless.
Standing me next to his unmade bed, I panicked. No one knew where I was and none were likely to remember my leaving the bar with him. He could kill me without fear. I turned to him.
"Let me cook you something to eat."
As soon as said I knew how stupid it
sounded. Laughing he said.
"You're right, I'm starved.
You're the meat. Take you clothes off."