No one there. …. In shop, he give me
sweet. He say, take spam, no pay. ….. Then, he take me back, back, ….., to his
He, … pull up sarong,…...
I go leave. He say no go, hold me. …., He put hand on mouth. He climb on me. ………."
Each short sentence accompanied by a sob. As she stopped, her body shook with sobs.
"He raped you Mom?"
Tears, not single ones, streams, continued to flow; unable to speak she nodded.
"Mom, oh Mom, I’m so sorry, how old were you?"
With sobs abating but tears still streaming over her weathered wrinkles, still unable to talk she flashed her hand with 5 fingers, 3 times.
"Mom, you were 15?"
As she nodded affirmative, I too began to cry.
"He got you pregnant?"
"Was he Cantonese?"
It explained why Rickie was short. He was 2 inches shorter than me. My other brothers were normal height, close to Dad but a little shorter. Things were starting to fill in.
"Mom, when you were pregnant what happened?"
"Tatay, angry, hit me. ….. I ruin family. Hit me, hit me, want know who sex me. ….. I not say. Shop man, he say Tatay must pay money owe if I say. We lose house if I say.
It little house. …. 4 room house, all us, no place else live. Tatay yell in house, yell I bad."
"What happened when Rickie was born?"
She paused again to reflect on what she was going to say next; then again it rolled out.
"Shop owner he visit Tatay. …… No more own money. ….. He forget what Tatay owe. Instead he give money, he give Tatay money. Then, man he come, Chinaman. ….. he come, he take me go away. I cry, no want go away. Ina say, I stay, no go but Tatay yell, go, go away. Not look at me.
Man, he take me in boat to Honolulu. Big city, he take me old building, … it on Hotel Street bars too in other old building there too, like Chinatown.