“What is it? Tell me now.”
“No, no, after dinner, after the kids are fed and watching TV. I got to think how to say it too.”
I switched to panic and thought.
Somethings up, he’s been moody, withdrawn, even disinterested in sex.
The economy’s bad. He’s losing his job? Neighbors are losing
jobs, houses, getting divorced.
Oh God he knows something! Oh please God, not a divorce. Please ,God don’t let him ask for a divorce. What has he discovered? What does he know?
For the last couple of months he had been staring off in space, thinking of something but would never "talk" when I asked what was up. Now my mind raced from the "talk" being an announcement he lost his job to he was divorcing me.
The latter went back and forth between his finding another to his finding about
my secret puppet shadow.
During dinner my mind churned between who it could be if he was in love with to what secret of mine he had discovered about my secret puppet shadow. During the meal I excused myself and ensured my diary’s hiding place remained intact. It was.
With dinner finished, the kids sent to watch TV, coffee on the table I went from the kitchen sink to hear what fate I was to face. He sat sipping his coffee, mulled over how to start and then asked.
"Would it be okay if I quit my job? Not quit work, my job. I want to start my own business, our business. I know business is bad now but that's the best time to start. What do you think?"
Relief swept over me. I couldn't suppress the smile which revealed my happiness. I didn't want him to think I was ridiculing his quitting but still could not suppress my smile of relief.
"I'm serious. I've given it a lot of thought. It's risky. I know. I don't know if my job will last. We can borrow on the house to start. What do you think?"
Still smiling, and then giggling, I replied.
"Honey, where did you take me from when we met?"
As soon as the words were out I regretted them. It was an unfair question which placed him in a quandary. I didn't intend to put him in a dilemma, just wanted a simple reply so I could agree to his decision. He struggled for a safe answer. I suspected he thought.
“If I say Tropicana Village she’ll
think I’m saying she was just a poor girl, a nothing until she met me, her
opinion worthless. To say from her family is much worse.”
He mulled it over, smiled and replied.
"From behind your Pee Chee folder?"
I broke into laughter at his clever reply, jumped up, hugged and kissed him.
"No, No, Tropicana Village!
That's where you found me. That's where you took me from. That’s where we found
each other. That’s where we came from!
I’ll gladly go back there as long as it’s with you! Do you understand? I'm your wife. I go where you go. We’re together for better or worse! It's been all better, so what if gets worse as long as we’re together. When are we starting? "
As we hugged and kissed the kids
came over, looked at us as if crazy, stared as if something incomprehensible
was about to be announced. Our daughter asked if I was pregnant. Our hugging
and kissing over the announcement we were starting a business was inconsequential.
They returned to TV thinking nothing was up but it was; a new business, a major
change in lives for better or worse.