Edward taught me to avoid vulgar words and use the proper term when talking about sex even when talking dirty to one another. I readily agreed as I never did swear, He explained how vulgar words demeaned the user, the listener and the object or person discussed. His favorite singer was Tom Jones and he got me the record, Say You Will Stay Until Tomorrow.
He wanted to visit my home. I knew
he was not a friend to my family. He was trying to discover what my family life
was which I kept from him. I didn't want him to come, worried my husband, the
children, neighbors or friends would see his Porsche in the driveway.
He became obsessed about visiting the house, often drove past it and asked detailed questions about its furniture and decor. Pertinacious in seeking to see the house, I eventually gave in and let him come for a quick walk through, supposedly see my decorating. Instead, as expected, he attempted sex. I threw up my hand to cover my mouth to stop his kiss and walked outside. He was trying to mark territory and violate my husband's home, a line I couldn’t cross. Relief swept me as his car drove off. Standing in the driveway I felt stupid, knowing I should have never have let him in. I had violated our family home. My husband would never be able to live there if he knew Edward entered his house, even with my nixing kissing.
After his house tour, Edward bought a wine storage rack and a mirror for the house saying to think of him whenever I drank wine and he was in the mirror and every time I looked into it he was admiring me. I did think of him if I drank wine from the wine rack but kept some wine separate to drink at dinner with my husband. In a twist of depravity the mirror ended up as part of my marriage water bed. After I told “girl at work water bed stories,” hubby made one and unknowingly used the mirror as part of the head board. While love making we could watch ourselves. Edward could too if what he said was true but it wasn't.
No one except my confidant, the older woman at work, knew I was having an affair. Edward was, however, always in my thoughts despite our limited time together. I closed my eyes and saw his face. A brush against my cheek felt like his caress. On occasion he slipped out of my tongue despite attempts to keep his world secret. Telling the older woman was a way to verbalize what was happening yet keep it from spreading my secret life. Even a spy needs a handler.
I helped the older woman meet her alignment quotas in exchange being able to tell someone about Edward but more importantly for life advice. She provided good insight, was nonjudgmental yet warned about losing a long time good husband for a short time good lover like she mistakenly did. Her advice hit home. Instead of dropping Edward I redoubled camouflage efforts.