The hard part was never mentioning anything
associated with either, guppy and what we did, no matter how exciting. With my
husband I concentrated on talking about the house, kids, neighbors, work and
mutual friends. With Edward it was where we went, current events, movies and
whatever book I was reading. If something too exciting occurred to suppress, I
twisted it into a girl at work story.
My biggest fear was pregnancy which would unravel my marriage life. Having given birth twice I could never have an abortion. While hubby had his vasectomy Edward could get me pregnant. Once our affair developed I told him I was going to take the pill. To my surprise he said no, it would upset my hormone balance. He assured me he didn’t mind wearing a condom. In his love making ritual he often pulled out just before he climaxed, slipped it off and ejaculated with hand strokes, spewing on my stomach or a new apparel item he had me wear.
I thought he might be wary of what
my husband then I might contract from another and accepted his idiosyncrasies. Over
time I twisted affair condom use into marriage faithfulness. Later as AIDS
vanquished the sexual revolution its use became a stroke of luck.
I suspected hubby’s hysterical
bonding was his vicarious excitement thinking of me as a "hot wife",
part of his waylaid swinging agenda. He may have initially suggested swinging
not to have sex with other women but to have a "hot wife". Now he was
wrought with jealousy.
He took keen interest in the jewelry, clothes, lingerie, makeup, nail polish and perfume Edward stamped me with, all of which fed his suspicions there was someone else. My answer to his questions of where they came from was they reflected our new affluent second income. My Tuesday’s and Thursdays noon time absence back up story was I went shopping to make myself look good for him. I hounded him to shop with me which I knew he wouldn’t and if he did ensured it was dragged out.
Out of the blue he would still
suddenly accuse me of infidelity. Instead of being defensive I blame shifted saying
his accusations were due to irrational jealousy, projections of his infidelity
and accused him he wanted me to go swinging so he could screw different women. I
acted angry he brought up the accusation until he apologized.
He still knew something was amiss, acted
foolish, bought presents to please me but could not match Edward's taste. He no
longer took me for granted, was obsessed with fear of losing me, paid attention
exclusively to me and lost interest in pornography. Swinging was never
mentioned. My sexual transformation unbalanced his dominance and confidence.
Edward, to my relief, was not interested in talking about families, his or mine. He did want to give my vagina a name. I lied and said she had none. Vixen was my hubby’s. I wanted something different for Edward as part of my separate lives modus operandi. Knowing a few words in Tagalog from Mom I said.
“She’s Puki”, Tagalog for vagina.
“Puki, eh, sounds sexy. Maybe a little too vulgar, Miss Puki sounds better.”
Christened, Miss Puki she was Edward’s and Vixen my husband’s, a minor bit of faithfulness for both. I never told him my Cobra nick name.