Chapter 19, Cobra Belly Dances To 1970's Sex Liberation
While having enjoyed soapy showers
and then sex with hubby, I didnít feel sexy while caring for babies. Sex was
another domestic, routine chore for his horny rush. I didn't care. It was duty
booty and accepted his need, was pleased he wanted me, was happy to give it but
just didnít feel sexy. If aroused I had to get mine on top first but usually
was too tired and laid back and let him have it.
As the kids grew out of diapers and the Choo-choo train baby talk ended, however, we began to emerge from our marriage shell and rejoin our peers, at least on weekends. Most were still single, partying and sexually experimenting the new Age Of Aquarius. They avoided career, house and kid commitments and considered us bogged down. We were bogged down but happy ever after-ing dwelling in our little Camelot.
In 1974, six years after our wedding
bells pealed the kids were in preschool and kindergarten. We made a second trip
to Disneyland, flew not drove, rented a car, stayed and ate in the Disney Hotel
and took the monorail to and fro. The trip reflected our economic rise up.
With freedom from breast feeding, diaper changing, midnight baby cry awakening and being on the "Pill" my sexual yearnings re-emerged, first as a new dress or lingerie, then a special dinner with wine, then dancing, and best with all these ending on our marriage bed.
Our sex while vanilla was again
satisfying and sketches in the book, Joy
Of Sex, told us how to experiment.
The changing sexual culture swirling
around us, however, also shook our marital bed with ideas of greener grass on
the other side of the marriage fence not, just doing different positions
We didn't talk about it. It was in
our marriage closet. By the latter half of the 70's the sexual revolution of
the sixty's was over. Sex had won. Now everyone was "doing it". An
eighteen year old virgin was a source of ridicule. Couples like us who missed
the free love boat were urged to get aboard.
By 1975 Tupperware parties became
"Fuckerwear Parties" with the host selling lingerie, love making oils
and sex toys. Pornography was on the big screen with, Deep Throat and Behind The
Green Door. Womanís magazines like Cosmopolitan and Redbook were full of
articles titled, How To Experience Sex,
Casual And Anonymous Sex, Your Orgasm and even, Should You Start Swinging? The local newspaper on the front porch and
the street corner rack included classifieds filled with couples wanting to meet
With the pill and before AIDS there
were few ramparts against the onslaught of sex on demand. The media advocated
sex in the haze of marijuana smoke seeping across suburbia. Commitment meant
doing something together, including swinging.
With two kids we knew about sex.
What we didn't know we knew from magazines, books, newspapers and even
television, all now vying to outdo one another in sex education. From them we
were informed we needed to expand our horizons despite what we knew.
I tested media tips for man pleasing
but like new food recipes hubby wanted basic fare of three meals a day and two
to three sex romps a week. He did respond to, sexy nighties, lingerie and hula
The city parks and recreation
department offered hula dance lessons. I enrolled to firm up from child
bearing. It required only a $20 fee, purchase of a grass skirt, weekly class
attendance, a neighbor baby sitter during attendance and practice at home when
hubby was absent as all it took was a little swaying in the grass skirt and he
was on me fast and furious. It appeared a nylon nightie or hula skirt was more
exciting than me.