After Santa Maria the next town was
Santa Barbara, our wedding night’s destination.
My mind awoke to the unmentioned, the "big event the scheduled end of my virginity.
Will I prove my virginity and bleed? Will it hurt? What will
his penis feel like inside?
Will I feel his ejaculation?
And over and over the lyrics from
Will You Love Me Tomorrow by the Shirelles,
"Tonight with words unspoken
You say that I'm the only one
But will my heart be broken
When the night meets the morning sun?
I'd like to know that your love
Is love I can be sure of
So tell me now, and I won't ask again
Will you still love me tomorrow?"
Finally, after seven hours he pulled
into the Santa Barbara Motel 6 parking lot, parked, and turned the key. The
rumbling drone of the engine ceased. The kiss on lifting my veil was only the
symbol for the real thing. This was it, the wedding night consummation, the
event which cemented marriage vows.
Back then Motel 6 meant a $6.00 a night nationwide, a great deal near the California coast. It required a long in advance reservation. As the wedding planner this chore was mine. 50 cents calling directory assistance to get the Motel 6 phone number and another 50 cents for the reservation long distance call. It was Motel 7 to me.
Stumbling out of our "Just
Married" smeared car, tin cans long gone, we stretched and then remembered
to hug. It was a warm Southern California late evening with a clear sky and
luminescent moon. The faint rolling noise of coastal surf and the smell of the
nearby ocean made for a romantic first night backdrop, so far so good. We
sorted and carried luggage to the front desk where he signed us in, our first
proclamation of Mr. and Mrs., a cause for a kiss.
Dragging our luggage up the open concrete steps to a second floor room we fronted our honeymoon suite. After fumbling with the key and its plastic number tag he swung open the door. Beyond the threshold was a sparse room, devoid of charm, a double sized bed taking up most of the space. He drew the shabby curtains. I took my bag to the small bathroom, shut and locked the door, stripped, showered, toweled dried and brushed my teeth.
Naked I opened my bag. Inside was a
white three piece bridal peignoir set from Macy's Department Store, the most
expensive clothing purchased up until then. I Slid on the sheer nylon negligee
and the chiffon jacket but skipped the panty as an unnecessary hindrance for
the big event. I dabbed on Channel 5 perfume, reapplied lipstick and checked
I thought of Dad who could wrap a
small gift so artistically the gift took on a greater value. I hoped I was
wrapped to present greater value. Opening the bathroom door and seeing the worn
carpet I went back and put on my wedding white pumps and came out to surrender
to his unwrapping.