You see you can change lanes or perhaps change frames, the aims you had for different ones but you can never change, change. At least I heard something close in a song, it went on to say for the one in the sun the rains suitable but for the one in the rain the suns beautiful. That totally has nothing to do with anything,”you shall forget that” you’ve just been hypnotized. Moving on, poetry oh poetry write a love story filled with romance and bliss and the world will love you, but write a love story filled with truth and honesty, murder, betrayal, jealousy and rape and the world will shun you. My father always said that with a straight face whilst my mom slouched away trying to hide her disgust, “why can’t you just be like other girls your age, you’re nine for Pete’s sake get a boy friend, start a club house huh what I would give to get that precious youth being wasted on you.” I hope you don’t get the wrong impression, but my parents appreciated me my mom particularly. Not even a single day passed without them showing it to me, I adored them well at least for as long as I knew them. If you are wondering where this is going I’ll break the ice for you, yes I’m actually a girl and no this is not a story and yes it is a story which I am going to narrate through depending on how much time I have left, you see I’m dying by my own hand it would seem. Suicide, according to the dictionary, it is defined as, “The act of taking one’s own life.” I had imagined I would go through life without attempting to commit suicide, apart from now the thought was completely nonexistent to me. Now here I am, a ten year old “virgin girl” hanging from a noose barely clinging to life. Well sucks huh, all my friends did it, I mean Jenifer says she did it when she was seven and she never stopped since then. She is probably the most honest person I’ve ever met and despite having lost one of her eyes, it doesn’t seem to bring her down hahaha-uuuuh oh whoa, yeah I think I shouldn’t try laughing with a noose around my neck. My parents referred to me as cherish, so that probably is or was damn it I’m dying all the same but at least now you can put a name to the imaginary face. Exactly a year ago on this day the 31st, it seemed to be like any other day but my mother, she wasn’t her usual self at all. She was glowing, I thought maybe it was because dad had finally had sex with her and lasted slightly longer than it took to get someone pregnant and make them reach a certain level of satisfaction. Unfortunately it just happened I was wrong, like how I’m only realizing I was wrong on a lot of other things too, but we will discuss those later. Was I happy? No, was I sad? No, I was turning ten and everybody was making a fuss, everybody as in Tamia, my mom. She was happy, “Darling, darling clearly you do not seem to grasp what a wonderful day this is, I mean when I was your age I was already wearing a bra and swapped my granny panties for some of gam gams knickers, but clearly your physique is from your father sweetheart hahahah.”I never let it get to my head anyway dad was being dad, my maid expressing her hate openly towards me, she was a special soul and I was indifferent that is the word. Indifferent, it’s my birthday so what? “So that’s the only reason I don’t slap you right now!” my mom exclaimed, “I mean mom it’s my birthday ah-,” then again if I say anymore I’d have to listen to how difficult it was for her when she was pregnant, 8 hours of labor, the baby fat and how she almost died, so long story short she forced herself onto my birthday, actually our birthday. After all this it’s funny how I never thought of taking my life, I guess it was nothing. I actually loved my life, mom always took the spotlight I sat in the background and on that day I received the weirdest birthday present I could have ever imagined I would get. From the darkness of the basement, a hand crept out, slightly decomposed but with a fragrance that cloaked its surroundings in utmost joy it was surreal, “is this what getting high feels like?” I said to myself, “Because if it is, then I do not want to get un-high.”
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