My friend and I have been trying to find this sex shop for a while. Not because we wanted to buy anything, but because the shop’s sign was right in the middle of the sidewalk in a busy part of town and we were curious so we decided to check it out. The sign pointed inside a small shopping mall.
This is really hard to describe but basically the entire mall was a long, thin hallway with multiple shops on either side. My friend and I walked through this hallway twice on two separate occasions. But for some reason we never found the shop. I thought maybe there was a secret door somewhere. Or maybe you needed to tell someone a passcode, and then he’d open up his jacket to reveal assorted color dildos or something.
Anyways, my friend and I were hanging out one day and he mentioned that he finally found out where the sex shop was.
“Did you go inside?” I asked.
“Okay, let’s go. Right now.”
“It’ll be fun.”
So we go into the hallway-mall and the sex shop is located
right in the middle of the hallway. I had no idea how we’d missed it before.
Anyways, I’m standing in the entranceway to the shop and up until now I was
ready to go in and explore whatever people sell in sex shops, but then my
confidence takes a hit. I peered inside the sex shop and it’s completely empty.
Only the owner is there and it’s this old lady and she’s just staring at me.
Oh, and the hallway aspect of the mall made everything 100x worse because everyone can see where you are. Plus, this mall doesn’t get a lot of business. It sells mainly cheap Chinese goods and it probably doesn’t help that there’s a sign right outside advertising a sex shop. Or maybe that does help. It brought me there, after all.
So the owners of the various shops are just sitting on small chairs or stools, and they’re looking around for customers. As a rule you never make eye contact with them because then they’ll start talking to you and before you know it, you’re the proud owner of a small sculpture of a pig taking a shit.
All these owners were staring at me, seeing if I’d go inside. The creepy old lady was staring at me, wondering if I’d go inside her shop and maybe buy something to go inside of me. My friend was staring at me, wondering why I was taking so long.
All eyes on us, we ended up going inside the barbershop across from the sex shop, as if that’s where we wanted to go in the first place. I actually did need a haircut, so it worked out perfectly. I sat down, the barber lady did her thing, and I ended up getting the best haircut I’ve ever had.