1. When you’re waiting in line to order food and you’re rehearsing your order over and over in your head so you don’t forget it, and then you get to the front of the line and you blank out and then you just blurt out the first thing you see on the menu and then you want to say “wait, no, I wanted that, not this!” but you remain silent and you’re left with food you didn’t want.
2. When you go into a subway station and you swipe your metro card at the turnstile but it doesn’t work and you keep trying but it keeps saying swipe again, and there’s a huge line of people behind you silently judging you for your inability to do such a simple task.
3. When you order food and the cashier says, “enjoy your meal” and you say, “thanks, you too.”
4. When you say, “Hi, how are you?” and they say, “Good, how are you?” and you say, “Good, how are you?” and then you want to crawl and hide in a nice dark corner somewhere for maybe a couple months.
5. When you’re doing icebreakers in class and everyone has to say something about themselves and you’re super excited to share your banana passion but then you hear everyone else talk about non-banana related things and so you end up just talking about your boring trip to China or something.
6. When you’re walking and you trip over a small bump and then you start jogging to hide the fact that you just tripped.
7. When you look in the mirror and realize you had food on your face the entire day.
8. When you’re taking a test and you’re still on the first question and you hear everyone else flipping the page.
9. When your mouth makes a fart-like noise and everyone around you thinks you farted and you try to mimic the same noise so they know you didn’t actually fart but you can’t and just end up making weird noises with your mouth and now everyone knows you as the guy who farted and tried to cover it up with weird mouth noises.
10. When you’re standing on the bus and it makes a turn and you lose your balance and you fall against the person next to you.
11. When you make a joke that sounded much better in your head.
12. When you’re shopping and you want to try some clothes on but the line for the dressing room is full so you just find a corner and hope nobody sees you.
13. When you’re not sure if someone on the other side of the room is staring at you or not so you yawn to see if they also yawn.
14. When you’re in a group and you make a joke but nobody hears it except for the guy next to you and then he repeats the joke loudly and everyone laughs and you begin planning his death.
15. When you forget what you were going to