Mr. Brandt allowed Arnold to go to the bathroom on one condition: Arnold must return before ten minutes.
Arnold, in the desperate state he was in, gladly accepted the deal and ran back into the school building. He rushed through the hallways of the first floor before it occurred to him: where the hell is the bathroom?
An overwhelming urge was beginning to build up within Arnold’s digestive system, and there was not a second to lose.
Arnold frantically looked around until he spotted it: “Men’s Bathroom”. Breathing a sigh of relief Arnold hurried over to the door.
Except the door handle wouldn’t budge.
Gritting his teeth together, Arnold rushed to the set of stairs opposite the bathroom and headed to the second floor, every step threatening to unleash a torrent of humiliation that would scar Arnold’s school life forever.
At last Arnold came to the second floor bathroom, and a wave of relief passed over him when he saw the bathroom door was wide open. Upon entering, however, Arnold faced a serious problem: There were three stalls lined up to one side, visible from the entranceway, and they were all occupied.
Shit. Literally, can you guys shit already????
Arnold, whose bodily needs were about to overcome his willpower, squirmed for thirty grueling seconds until a student exited the middle stall.
Thank god- Arnold, who had barely taken two steps toward the stall, was instantly stopped upon encountering an unbelievably overpowering stench. Despite being a good five feet from the source, the smell almost made Arnold discharge his lunch from up above in addition to down below.
Shit. Arnold stared at the other two stalls, but another spasm of his stomach quickly changed his mind. Arnold, holding his breath, bravely entered the battlefield of the recently used toilet.
Arnold, at the end of his limit, sat down without further hesitation and groaned with relief as he finally released the cursed fried chicken. Arnold sighed as his stomach pain dissipated. The ordeal was over.
Arnold, still holding his breath, reached over to the side to grab toilet paper and end this miserable chapter in his life, when he realized the toilet paper holder was empty, except for a small piece of toilet paper still glued onto the cardboard core.
That jerked used up all the toilet paper!
Arnold could not hold his breath much longer, and so he breathed in through his mouth. To his dismay, the pungent odor was much stronger now that he was actually in the stall, and breathing through his mouth did not adequately diminish the scent.
Arnold gagged as he held in his breath once again. He had one more minute before he was forced to take in more of that dreaded scent and he had no intentions of remaining in the stall for that long.
Arnold looked below the stall to his left. It was empty. He looked down below the stall to his right. It was empty. Sometime in his pain-filled release the remaining students had left their stalls.
Arnold peeked through the gap in his own stall and saw the bathroom was currently empty. He licked his lips as a plan emerged in his brain.
All right. Nobody else is in the bathroom right now. If I hurry, I can rush over to the next stall and use the toilet paper there.
Arnold gathered his courage, and then, with his pants still around his legs, quickly emerged from his stall and wobbled towards the stall to his left.
It was then that Arnold remembered.
The bathroom entrance door had been wide open.
And the stalls were visible from the entranceway.
And right now there was a girl standing in the hallway, staring straight at Arnold.
The two gawked at each other silently for two seconds, and then the girl quietly continued walking down the hallway.
…Well, there’s another person I’m adding to my list of people to avoid.
Arnold remembered what he was doing and quickly entered the rightmost stall. Arnold frowned. There was no toilet paper in that stall either. In fact, the stall didn’t even have a toilet: It was completely empty, save for a boarded-up hole where the toilet should be.
There was a guy in this stall five minutes ago. The hell was he even doing in here??
Arnold hurriedly rushed to the leftmost stall, and upon opening the stall door he finally found it: A roll of toilet paper on top of the toilet seat. Arnold gladly extended his arm to grab the roll, when his hand bumped it, causing it to fall into the toilet. Arnold stared at the now wet toilet in disbelief.
…You’ve got be kidding me. There’s no way that just happened.
Arnold bit his lips as he assessed the situation. The only toilet paper available in the bathroom had just fallen into the toilet.
…I’ve got no choice but to use wet toilet paper, I guess.
As Arnold was about to retrieve the fallen toilet paper roll, he was stopped abruptly when he realized that the toilet paper roll wasn't the only thing inside the toilet.
This bastard didn’t flush!
Arnold closed his eyes, as the situation seemed to get unnaturally worse and worse. He opened them again and began contemplating what he could do. He needed to wipe- there was no doubt about that. Arnold was not willing to go through the rest of the day wearing soiled pants.
Arnold remembered the girl’s bathroom was to the right of the boy’s bathroom. A plan began to hatch in his head. It was risky, but he could go over there and obtain toilet paper. Arnold steeled his mind, and decided to go for it.
Quickly, Arnold pulled up his pants- the mission would have to be accomplished before his underwear could be permanently stained- and left the boy’s bathroom. Looking to his right, he saw that the girl’s bathroom was also wide open and it had twice the stalls that the boy’s bathroom had, with three stalls on either side of the bathroom.
Arnold looked around the hallway nervously. Fortunately there was nobody in the hallway at the moment. Arnold then cautiously peeked into the girl’s bathroom. Fortunately there appeared to be nobody in there. Taking a deep breath, Arnold rushed in and pulled open the nearest stall door.
Yes! It’s here!
Hurriedly, Arnold entered the stall, pulled off his pants, and wiped clean both himself and his underwear. As Arnold was about to open the stall door and make his great escape, he heard the sound of two girls entering the bathroom. Peeking through the gap in the stall, Arnold was able to see the two girls pass by his stall and walk towards a window located in the back of the bathroom, where they began to talk.
Come on. What the hell are you girls even in the bathroom for??
Arnold then remembered Mr. Brandt’s time limit. Had it been ten minutes yet? I need to get out of there, and fast. Wait- Maybe I could leave the stall with my back facing towards them and they won’t notice that I’m a guy.
Arnold took a deep breath, and then opened the stall door. Positioning his back towards the girls, he, as casually as he could, moved to the exit.
One step. Two steps. Three steps. So far so good; the girls behind him didn’t say a word. Arnold reached the bathroom entrance, and was about to pat himself on the back, when one of the girls behind him called out, “Hey, aren’t you going to wash your hands?”
Arnold stopped for a moment, and mustered in as girly a voice as he could, “Nothing came out.”
His face turning red, Arnold quickly exited the girl’s bathroom and returned to the boy’s bathroom to wash his hands. After that, he rushed back to the schoolyard, where Mr. Brandt was waiting for him with a stopwatch.